Forward Progress At Last

There's just something about deciding that you WILL do something.  No hedging, no "if I can", but a definite "I WILL do this."

2009 started with a little bit of a stumble—I was still struggling with chapter 30 of A.C., but I've since kicked myself in gear.  Today, chapter 30 will be done and posted (along with the 4 previous chapters) to the workshop and sent to my two readers (in a 10 chapter section).

Which also brings up the fact that it's sometimes silly what finally gets us motivated.  In this case, I thought about writing a new short...and ended up finishing off chapter 30.4 revisions in 2 days.  I guess writing a new short is a threat to me?  Whatever works, right?  The only problem with this is that I do indeed need to write a new short.  A Christmas one for a private advent calendar, so I'm going to have to get over it being a threat soon.  I write and revise too slow to wait until we're too much further into the year to get started.

So far this month, I've written or revised a total of 11k.  In new words, I'm holding steady at 3900/week for the moment.  It was a bit of a stretch, so getting back into the habit of making that particular goal each week is more of a priority than trying to push more words just yet.  These words have been split between world building for both A.C. (which is now pretty much done) and Phoenix 1 and working on the Phoenix 1 building draft.  The other projects haven't been touched much yet, and that's fine.  I probably need to get A.C. off my plate first.

There are two things I'm really trying to put into play as I recover from the mess that was last year: 1. knowing my limits and being patient with myself because of them, and 2. easing back into things and being patient with the process.

Knowing your limits is as important as understanding your process, I think.  This doesn't mean you don't try to increase your limits, just that you realize that you have them and may need to build upon them.  Otherwise frustration sets in and you give up.  this was a real problem for me last year because my limits had decreased because of my health issues.  I needed to allow myself to heal before I pushed, but was just too used to pushing to convince myself to do that.  This year, I am measuring success a little differently.  Yes, I want to reach my goals, but I want to enjoy what I'm doing (for the most part since I'll probably always hate revisions) and reach those goals a bit more consistently.  To do that, I have to realize where my limits are, find the point where it's a challenge, then take the time I need to actually consistently reach that goal before I try pushing some more.  Last year, when I made my goals at all, it was more of a "Oh, I made my goal this week!  time to add more for next week."  Habit building just doesn't work that way for me.

Baby steps can be frustrating, but right now, that's what I need to take.  So, I've got a long way to go before I'm where I want to be, and I might have put too much in the goals to be able to reach them all.  The good news is that I still have a lot of year left.  And if I don't reach them all, I'll at least have a better idea of where my challenge point is and either cut back a project or two or keep the same number for next year.

And, really, THAT progress, that understanding of what I need to do to be happier in what I do and be less frustrated with myself and my writing, is a better achievement than the word count so far.

Now, about that exercise problem....  ;)